Have you seen the Wii Speak microphone in action? I haven’t. So let’s watch, as this sweet, innocent Japanese teenager “meets up” with a friend in Animal Crossing and “does stuff”. Can’t understand much, but it’s clear they both recognise a lobster when they see one, one of them is very insistent they eat chicken for dinner, and they both find the whole experience overwhelmingly cute. If there were a hell for Xbox Live users, surely this would be it.